Decided to start writing my own novel in verse about my coach.. let's see how it works out! (:
For Better or Worse I bite my lip as I walk down the hall. I think about how much I've changed.
I can tell just how disappointed you are in me. I don't bother to hold back the tears
anymore.
Bad Driving and Sentimentality Do you remember that car ride in Disneyland? I assumed that you would want to ride with Emily and I felt so special when you rode with me instead.
We talked about everything.
Well, I talked while you listened and we laughed about how bad I was at driving.
Yeah, I know you remember. But that memory is not nearly as significant to you as it is to me.
Mother Bear I was nine when you had that fight with Alice, and I couldn't comprehend that you could've yelled like that. I couldn't shake the sound of your voice surrounding me echoing off the walls of an empty rink.
The next day when I brought up the incident you explained it the best way you could to a third grader. "Alexia, I'm like a mother bear. My students are my cubs. And I will protect them from anything - including their own parents. Do you understand?"
I nodded clinging to those words with my life.
Tribulation
When I was younger, about ten or so, the thought t-h-a-t y-o-u w-e-r-e g-o-i-n-g t-o d-i-e o-n-e d-a-y was enough to send me bawling for h-o-u-r-s o-n e-n-d. Now that I-'-m o-l-d-e-r, I d-o-n-'-t r-e-a-c-t t-h-a-t w-a-y anymore. B u t ...................................... the feelings of pain and fear ...................................... towards the e m p t i n e s s ..................................... I know I will feel when you a- ..................................... re gone are still very much ........................................ here. And it s e n d s m e .......................................... s p i r a l ing every time I think ...................................... about it. To be completely .......................................... h o n e s t , t h i n k i n g ............................................ about a n y life without you ........................................ scares t h e absolute crap ........................................... o u t of me. The loss of you ...................................... would mean the l-o-s-s of - s-o-m-e-o-n-e - I live for. I-t w-o-u-l-d b-e the loss of someone I consider to be a best friend. It would be the l--o--s--s - o--f - a - p--a--r--t - o-f - m-e. It would be the loss of any shred of sanity I have left.
Sometimes when things are rough all I can think is "I wish I were with Danelle right now." But then the sensible part of me kicks in and reminds me that ever though you mean the world and more to me and even though I would do anything for you you wouldn't care to try to comfort me.
Green-Eyed Monster I've never felt so much envy towards one person in my whole life. Emily is such a sweet girl and she deserves every ounce of affection she gets. But when you hug her, I cringe. And when you kiss her forehead tender gentle caring loving I feel my heart shatter and something inside of me
For Better or Worse
I bite my lip
as I walk
down the hall.
I think about
how much I've changed.
I can tell
just how
disappointed
you are in me.
I don't bother to hold back the tears
anymore.
Bad Driving and Sentimentality
Do you remember
that car ride
in Disneyland?
I assumed that
you would want to ride
with Emily
and I felt so
special
when you rode with me
instead.
We talked about
everything.
Well,
I talked
while you listened
and we laughed about
how bad I was
at driving.
Yeah,
I know you remember.
But that memory
is not nearly as
significant
to you
as it is to
me.
Mother Bear
I was nine
when you had that fight
with Alice,
and I couldn't
comprehend
that you could've yelled like that.
I couldn't shake the sound of
your voice
surrounding me
echoing off the walls
of an empty rink.
The next day
when I brought up the incident
you explained it the best way you could
to a third grader.
"Alexia,
I'm like a mother bear.
My students
are my cubs.
And I will protect them from
anything -
including their own parents.
Do you understand?"
I nodded
clinging to those words
with my life.
Tribulation
When I was younger, about ten or so, the thought
t-h-a-t y-o-u w-e-r-e g-o-i-n-g t-o d-i-e o-n-e d-a-y
was enough to send me bawling for h-o-u-r-s o-n e-n-d.
Now that I-'-m o-l-d-e-r, I d-o-n-'-t r-e-a-c-t t-h-a-t w-a-y
anymore. B u t ...................................... the feelings
of pain and fear ...................................... towards the
e m p t i n e s s ..................................... I know I will
feel when you a- ..................................... re gone are
still very much ........................................ here. And it
s e n d s m e .......................................... s p i r a l ing
every time I think ...................................... about it. To
be completely .......................................... h o n e s t ,
t h i n k i n g ............................................ about a n y
life without you ........................................ scares t h e
absolute crap ........................................... o u t of me.
The loss of you ...................................... would mean
the l-o-s-s of - s-o-m-e-o-n-e - I live for. I-t w-o-u-l-d b-e
the loss of someone I consider to be a best friend. It
would be the l--o--s--s - o--f - a - p--a--r--t - o-f - m-e.
It would be the loss of any shred of sanity I have left.
Sometimes
when things are rough
all I can think is
"I wish I were with
Danelle
right now."
But then the sensible
part of me
kicks in
and reminds me that
ever though you mean
the world
and more
to me
and even though I would do
anything
for you
you wouldn't care
to try to comfort me.
Green-Eyed Monster
I've never felt so much
envy
towards one person in
my whole life.
Emily is such a sweet girl
and she deserves
every
ounce
of affection she gets.
But when you hug her,
I cringe.
And when you
kiss her forehead
tender
gentle
caring
loving
I feel my heart shatter
and something inside of me
.....................................................................................dies.
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